Goodbye, Dynasty: I tried, but I just couldn’t love it.


1×01 “I Hardly Recognized You”: Fallon Carrington learns that her father, Blake, is going to marry a woman named Cristal and give her the COO job at the Carrington family business. Tantrums and pantsuits ensue.

1×02 “Spit It Out”: Blake uses a corrupt cop to throw suspicion off himself for Matthew’s death; Fallon does her level best to ruin Matthew’s funeral; Steven and Sammy Joe may or may not be on a break.

1×03 “Guilt is for Insecure People”: The Carrington family holds an eighties gala, even though Steven is under a cloud of suspicion. Meanwhile, Cristal tries to help a relative in trouble and Fallon gets involved in a wee bit of a love triangle.

1×04 “Private as a Circus”: Blake and Cristal go on an awkward honeymoon; Steven and Sam team up to retrieve the stolen phone; Fallon tries to win a Very Important Business Deal.

1×05 “Company Slut”: Steven’s ex-boyfriend Ted Dinard shows up. Never call him just Ted. Also, Blake and Anders are both the worst, and Fallon gets a well-deserved comeuppnce.

1×06 “I Exist Only For Me”: Claudia and Sam get makeovers, and Fallon makes nice with nerds.

1×07 “A Taste Of Your Own Medicine”: Over Thanksgiving, political fights erupt, Fallon makes nice, and Claudia finally reveals her Evil Plan.

1×08 “The Best Things In Life” Some people get locked on a roof naked, and some other people come to terms with their feelings for their exes.