Previously on Homeland: Quinn? Who? What? I’ve never heard of him. The entire previouslies takes place without so much as a mention of the fact that this guy ever existed.
Season 2, Episode 4 “Tamara’s Return”
So… I was definitely dreading recapping this episode. The worst thing to happen to the show (which the creator gamely stands by to this day) is back. I know the term “witch” is being reclaimed by feminists right now and I love it, but by the end of this episode I’m just like “Ding, dong, the witch is dead!” Continue reading →
Season One, Episode 10 “Double Date”
We open with Dawson complaining about how much he’s pining after Jen. Did I accidentally replay the previous episode? No, the writers are just pretending that Dawson never made out with Carol and started to get over Jen, because they need him to be a weird stalker ex for this episode to work. Continue reading →
Season 1, Episode 4 “Discovery”
We will say this many times over the course of this rewatch, but seriously–shut up, Dawson. First, he refuses to talk to Jen about anything serious until he fights with Joey, which was probably supposed to be a Dawson/Joey shipper thing, but really just makes it seem like Dawson is incapable of taking someone he’s sexually attracted to seriously. Then, when Jen reveals that she’s (gasp!) not-a-virgin, Dawson acts like a creep of the first order and becomes very obviously disgusted with her. Just one of the many times that Dawson represents the odious Nice Guy, the guy who thinks the universe owes him a perfect, virginal blonde girlfriend just for existing and not like–murdering people. Continue reading →
Season 1, Episode 1: “Pilot”
By Nerdy Spice
Here we are, you guys! Right here in Capeside, Massachusetts. The pilot opens in Dawson’s sexless bed watching the greatest sexless couple of all time watch ET for the bajillionth time. Also featured in this scene is Dawson’s big-haired cheatin’ momma on the evening news.
Anyway, this episode’s big theme is that People Evolve. Joey and Dawson, Soulmates Emeritus, have been having same-bed sleepovers every Friday night for years, but Joey suddenly develops qualms because, you know, puberty, and it’s weird. Can they maintain their creepy and codependent friendship even now that they’re growing up? Continue reading →
Almost exactly twenty years ago, in January 1998, a fifteen-year-old girl played by a nineteen-year-old woman climbed into the bed of a fifteen-year-old boy played by a twenty-three-year-old man, and history was made.
Dawson’s Creek became a cliché of itself almost immediately and set the standard for every teen drama that came after it: constant navel-gazing about sex and growing up; supposedly “precocious” kids who were constantly using five-dollar words… wrongly; meta-references to John Hughes and the other cornerstones of pop culture; and the love triangle to end all love triangles. (Side note: Recapping Dawson’s Creek was also the pastime that brought Mighty Big TV, which would become TWoP, into being; and the now-defunct TWoP’s snarky blow-by-blow recaps were a huge part of the inspiration for this blog.)
In honor of this milestone anniversary, we are going to be rewatching every single episode of Dawson’s Creek, rediscovering the magic and the madness of this era-defining show. The hairstyles! The J. Crew clothes! The well-chosen folk music! The network-appropriate sexual euphemisms! And of course, the time Dawson made this face and changed the future of internet culture:
Naturally, such an exercise in nostalgia with such an easily mockable show calls for a (virtual, not-at-all-real) drinking game. Rules may be redefined as we get to later seasons, but so far, the rule card is as follows:
- 1 shot every time Joey mentions growing up.
- 5 shots every time Joey talks about things “changing” or “evolving.”
- 1 shot every time Dawson or Joey calls their relationship “complicated.”
- 1 shot every time Dawson or Joey uses the word “soulmates.”
- 20 shots every time Dawson or Joey uses the phrase “inexplicably intertwined.”
- 1 shot every time Jack looks grossed out after kissing another dude.
- 1 shot every time Pacey complains about being the black sheep of his family.
- 1 shot for literary and movie references that are annoyingly on the nose, 5 for literary references that are clearly supposed to be on the nose and yet make NO DAMN SENSE AT ALL.
- 1 shot for meta-movie references, 10 if that movie was made by Kevin Williamson.
- 1 shot for every Freud reference, 2 if it’s completely incorrect.
- 1 shot for every delusional discussion of the fact that Dawson is a nice guy.
- 20 shots for every mention of the fact that Dawson has a heart or that it’s beating.
- 1 shot every time Jen gets on her high horse about being an atheist.
- 1 shot every time someone gratuitously brings up sex. 2 if they do it while claiming to hope that no one else will bring up sex.
- 1 shot every time the writers come up with ridiculous words for sexual acts to get past the network censors.
- 1 shot every time Dawson pulls out his camera at an extremely inappropriate moment.
- 1 shot every time Joey plays the dead-mom card.
- 1 shot every time Dawson’s hair is gag-worthy, even for the 90s.
We’ll be watching three episodes a week and posting every Monday. Join us if you too wish to re-live the nausea-inducing, multisyllabic, never-very-wacky hijinks of the Capeside Four: Joey, Dawson, Pacey, and poor neglected Jen. Happy 2018!
First installment here.
Below is a recap of what might be an episode of Dynasty or might be a forty-minute commercial for the Google Pixel. It was tough to tell at some points.