Well. That’s a bad way to go. Continue reading →
Previously on Riverdale: Archie came to the hospital to kill Hiram but didn’t; Veronica found out her dad had swindled her out of ownership of her properties; Veronica and Archie teamed up to take down Hiram; the Farm offered Alice, Toni, and Cheryl help when they were emotionally vulnerable; Edgar got engaged to Alice even though he was totally already married to his fake daughter Evelyn and was also probably banging Cheryl; Betty helped Evelyn to escape from the Sisters of Quiet Mercy; Jughead had some Theories about the G&G game; Ricky tricked Jellybean into playing G&G with him; the Black Hood escaped and almost killed Betty.
Lots of fallout from the Tuco incident. Even more whining from Walt. But in the end, we get our reward: Jane! Continue reading →
It’s prom night in Riverdale! Could I BE more excited?
Actually, this may sound a little unbefitting the supposedly intellectual, supposedly adult recapper who stands before you, but I was hoping for this episode to be MORE cliched. More fretting about who goes to prom with who. More meaningful dance scenes. There were some good scares and some great dresses, but all in all, I wanted it to be more Pretty in Pink, less Carrie. Alas, this is Riverdale. You don’t get to have this many plot twists if you waste too much time on prom antics.
I quite liked this episode! Highlights include badass women fighting, another badass woman pursuing her dream, and a twist in the Edgar Evernever saga that I totally didn’t foresee but which makes the casting of Chad Michael Murray even more inspired. Also there’s a Henry James reference that I’m rather embarrassed to report I don’t really get–and that would be the one reference this show would make that I’m qualified to comment on.
The drug stuff gets more fun! But there’s also marital rape, so… sort of a wash.
Continue reading →
This episode is somewhat of an homage to Silence of the Lambs, as we’ll see later, so you can expect a lot of half-baked theorizing about criminal psychology. It’s going to be sort of like if a twelve-year-old had smoked crack and then attempted to write a smart psychological thriller about serial killers.