Josh Schwartz, we need to talk.
Below is a recap of what might be an episode of Dynasty or might be a forty-minute commercial for the Google Pixel. It was tough to tell at some points.
Previously on Dynasty: Cristal apologized for being a big adulterer, Blake may have killed Cristal’s husband, Cristal’s name was originally Celia Machado; someone maybe switched out the pregnant Claudia’s pills and she gave Blake a big naked soapy hug; Jeff and Fallon kind of made out.
Previously on Dynasty: The same clips of Fallon wanting the COO job and Cristal getting it; Fallon declared that she’s building the company with Jeff on her own; Jeff said he needed to rethink the company with Fallon; Fallon leaked Cristal’s sex tape and got kicked out of Blake’s house; Kori Rucks, a councilwoman, slept with Michael; Claudia publicly accused Blake of killing Matthew; Cristal apologized to Claudia but Blake ran over Claudia just as she was about to bean Cristal with a cement block.
Previously on Dynasty: Cristal got the COO job Fallon wanted; Fallon decided to start a new company with Jeff; Fallon told an obnoxious dude named Robbie Reed that Michael was her boyfriend but told Monica that was just a lie to get rid of Robbie, and Michael overheard her; Michael slept with Kori Rucks, the city councilwoman who had refused a contract to Fallon; Steven tried to help Sam only to learn that he orchestrated a robbery; Cristal and Blake offered to pay for Cristal’s dead, married ex-boyfriend’s funeral and his sad wife Claudia accepted; Cristal and Matthew’s sex tape was a huge hit on the internet and Claudia saw it.
Previously on Dynasty: Cristal became COO of Carrington Atlantic, so Fallon decided to be CEO of Carrington Windbriar, backed by Jeff. Blake brought Matthew by the house to mess with Cristal, but then Matthew died, and Cristal was all sad. Steven got arrested for Matthew’s death. Cristal didn’t want to tell Blake that she had a bad past in Mexico, so Sammy Joe just orchestrated a robbery to get money for Cristal’s sister back in Mexico. But he didn’t realize Blake had Matthew’s stolen phone, which went missing in the robbery, and the stuff on that phone could “ruin the Carrington name.”
Previously on Dynasty: Fallon thought she deserved to run her dad’s company, but he offered the COO position to his new fiancee, Cristal. So Fallon teamed up with this guy Jeff to form a company called Carrington Windbriar. Cristal’s nephew Sammy Joe declared her the “black sheep” of the family, and Cranky Butler had dirt on her but we don’t know what it is. Finally, Cristal’s married ex-lover died at Windbriar and Steven got arrested for it.