Rory holds a cup of coffee.

Meet Adversion’s readers: random ‘ships, important questions about Rory and Lorelai’s schedule, and a lot of people who hated Arrival

Hello loyal readers! We know some of you by name or handle–cool internet peeps who subscribe or post or comment, plus, of course, our moms and college roommates.

But who are the OTHER visitors who make up the rest of our [uhm, insert modest number here] visitors a month? The people who maybe stop by once, only to find the perfect listicle–or to be bitterly disappointed? We decided to get to know them… by looking into the search terms that led people here.

Of course there are the expected people who came searching for Dawson’s Creek recaps or that perfect quote from Romy and Michele. But the rest are a fascinating and motley crew. Here is an unofficial and incomplete taxonomy of our search engine visitors:

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Breaking Bad Hatewatch: Pilot

A classic pilot! And it’s actually a pretty good one, in the sense that, like all the best pilots, it’s a microcosm of the whole. This series premiere captures everything I admire, and exemplifies everything I find completely facile about Breaking Bad. Continue reading →

Breaking Bad Hatewatch: Kickoff

It would be a giant understatement to call this an “unpopular opinion,” but I just don’t like Breaking Bad. I don’t super enjoy watching it, which would be fine–there are a lot of great shows that I admire even as they’re not to my taste. But in this case, even the admiration factor is pretty low. Beyond simple enjoyment, I just don’t think Breaking Bad is that great a show. Continue reading →

The Great Dawson’s Creek Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episodes 13-15

We’re rewatching all of Dawson’s Creek in honor of its twentieth anniversary. Will require some mind-numbing. Drinking game rules can be found here.

Season 4, Episode 13 “Hopeless”

By Nerdy Spice

Joey and Pacey are seen at middle distance through a window, their foreheads touching.

In an episode that embodies the classic, largely extinct phenomenon known as the “pre-February-sweeps filler episode,” Joey strikes a devil’s bargain with Mrs. Valentine to get time off for the senior trip. The sitch is that Pacey and Joey have to accompany Drue on his date with Anna Evans, the daughter of the head of the board, which Mrs. Valentine forced him to go on in order to further her social ascent or something. Mrs. Valentine lays out what we writers like to call “the stakes” in highly literal terms: “If she does [have a nice time], the days off are yours.” Little does she know how high the stakes actually are: no less than Joey Potter’s seemingly indestructible virginity is at stake. Buuut more on that from Janes later.

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[Dietland 1×05] Is my friend Kitty kind of evil?

Every week our fake advice column answers a question from a character on Dietland.

Dear Adversion,

First-time writer here. My name’s Cheryl, and I’m a newscaster with Austen Media. And I’m worried Kitty Montgomery has gone Off. The. Rails.

To be honest my alliance with her was always a little bit… involuntary, you might say. She’s got an in (if you know what I mean) with Stanley, the mogul of the Austen family that owns my TV network. And she’s effing devious. If I weren’t aligned with her, she’d have made my life hell. But also, I mean, we have a lot in common. We both care about fitness and our careers so much. She’s an awesome workout partner, and she’s really fun when she’s in a good mood, like when you get her drunk and she actually eats something (because it takes the edge off her hanger), or like when she’s just delivered a really satisfying tongue-lashing to a subordinate.

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[Dietland 1×04] How do I know if he likes-me-likes-me?

Every week our fake advice column answers a question from a character on Dietland.

Dear Adversion,

So, I kind of made a deposit on my weight-loss surgery today.

As you know, Verena and her organization, Calliope House, had offered me all this money to go through some kind of awareness-raising program. I was going to use the money to get the surgery, but the program sucked! First, I went off my meds and did some pretty bonkers stuff. This week, it got even worse.

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[Dietland 1×03] Oh God, THE SHAME.

Every week our fake advice column answers a question from a character on Dietland.

Dear Adversion,

YOU HAVE TO HELP ME.

OK, so I took your advice from last week. I threw out all my meds, and I went back to this woman Verena Baptist and told her I was in for whatever her super secret happiness plan was. And she told me that her plan was all about being kind to myself, and wrote me the promised check for twenty grand ahead of time! So far, so good, right?

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