Posts by Nerdy Spice

http://advers.io Formerly "kht" I grew up playing Disney-movie-based games with my baby sister. I majored in English in college, got a graduate degree in creative writing, and then found myself earning a living as a software engineer. I'm working on my second novel and querying agents for my first. I eats home-cooked meals only when my husband Keets makes them for me, and he is still trying to teach me how to turn on the oven. Interests: Victorian novels, modern MFA novels and I'm not ashamed of it, super-long novels that aren’t by David Foster Wallace, Michael Chabon, Claire Messud, Henry James, feminism, movies with Robert Downey Jr. in them, TV shows with Connie Britton in them, Pacey Witter, 90s teenybopper movies with training montages, The Good Wife, Homeland, Tina Fey’s entire oeuvre, Mindy Kaling’s entire oeuvre, shows from the WB/CW circa 2004, and JJ Abrams.

The Great Dawson’s Creek Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episodes 13-15

We’re rewatching all of Dawson’s Creek in honor of its twentieth anniversary. Will require some mind-numbing. Drinking game rules can be found here.

Season 4, Episode 13 “Hopeless”

By Nerdy Spice

Joey and Pacey are seen at middle distance through a window, their foreheads touching.

In an episode that embodies the classic, largely extinct phenomenon known as the “pre-February-sweeps filler episode,” Joey strikes a devil’s bargain with Mrs. Valentine to get time off for the senior trip. The sitch is that Pacey and Joey have to accompany Drue on his date with Anna Evans, the daughter of the head of the board, which Mrs. Valentine forced him to go on in order to further her social ascent or something. Mrs. Valentine lays out what we writers like to call “the stakes” in highly literal terms: “If she does [have a nice time], the days off are yours.” Little does she know how high the stakes actually are: no less than Joey Potter’s seemingly indestructible virginity is at stake. Buuut more on that from Janes later.

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[Dietland 1×05] Is my friend Kitty kind of evil?

Every week our fake advice column answers a question from a character on Dietland.

Dear Adversion,

First-time writer here. My name’s Cheryl, and I’m a newscaster with Austen Media. And I’m worried Kitty Montgomery has gone Off. The. Rails.

To be honest my alliance with her was always a little bit… involuntary, you might say. She’s got an in (if you know what I mean) with Stanley, the mogul of the Austen family that owns my TV network. And she’s effing devious. If I weren’t aligned with her, she’d have made my life hell. But also, I mean, we have a lot in common. We both care about fitness and our careers so much. She’s an awesome workout partner, and she’s really fun when she’s in a good mood, like when you get her drunk and she actually eats something (because it takes the edge off her hanger), or like when she’s just delivered a really satisfying tongue-lashing to a subordinate.

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Black and white photo of the gang. From left; Andie, Jack, Jen, Joey, Pacey, Dawson. The latter two have their arms around each other.

The Great Dawson’s Creek Rewatch Project: Season 4, Episodes 7-9

We’re rewatching all of Dawson’s Creek in honor of its twentieth anniversary. Will require some mind-numbing. Drinking game rules can be found here.

Season 4, Episode 7 “You Had Me at Goodbye”

By Nerdy Spice

Black and white photo of the gang. From left; Andie, Jack, Jen, Joey, Pacey, Dawson. The latter two have their arms around each other.

Well, Andie didn’t die. I know—it’s shocking. But this is good-bye, and if you’ve read ANY of these recaps you know that Janes and I aren’t exactly sorry to reach the end of her reign of perky terror. When we next see her, Stalwart White Knight ex-boyfriend Pacey is, for whatever reason, dropping by her room on the regular to bring her her homework even though I’m pretty sure she and Pacey aren’t on the same track. Andie’s father, who can be surprisingly supportive with straight people problems, suggests Andie take off the rest of the year and go to Florence. Bye Andie! [Sob.] [JK.]

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[Dietland 1×04] How do I know if he likes-me-likes-me?

Every week our fake advice column answers a question from a character on Dietland.

Dear Adversion,

So, I kind of made a deposit on my weight-loss surgery today.

As you know, Verena and her organization, Calliope House, had offered me all this money to go through some kind of awareness-raising program. I was going to use the money to get the surgery, but the program sucked! First, I went off my meds and did some pretty bonkers stuff. This week, it got even worse.

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[Dietland 1×03] Oh God, THE SHAME.

Every week our fake advice column answers a question from a character on Dietland.

Dear Adversion,

YOU HAVE TO HELP ME.

OK, so I took your advice from last week. I threw out all my meds, and I went back to this woman Verena Baptist and told her I was in for whatever her super secret happiness plan was. And she told me that her plan was all about being kind to myself, and wrote me the promised check for twenty grand ahead of time! So far, so good, right?

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Silhouette of Joey and Pacey jumping off the boat into the water at sunset.

The Great Dawson’s Creek Rewatch: Season 4, Episodes 1-3

We’re rewatching all of Dawson’s Creek in honor of its twentieth anniversary. Will require some mind-numbing. Drinking game rules can be found hereAnd we’ve added a few shots for season 4:

  • Joey or Pacey inappropriately mentions Dawson.
  • Completely inaccurate interpretations of “feminism” and “girl power” or completely unreasonable instances of women getting mad at men in some vaguely “men are dogs” way.
  • Every time they mention “last spring” in hushed, reverent tones.
  • Every time Jack stands up for the misogynistic straight guys who treat his female friends like crap.
  • Every time Jen tries to make out with someone extremely inappropriate.

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A white woman (right) with plain makeup and hair opens her mouth as a pretty, well-coifed black woman (left) leans in and presses a red lipstick to her lower lip.

[Dietland 1×01-2] Should I Go Off My Meds For Twenty Grand?

Every week our fake advice column answers a question from a character on Dietland.

Dear Adversion,

My name is Plum Kettle. Recently I’ve been trying to drop enough weight to qualify for weight-loss surgery. It took all I had just to lose a pound this week, and I still have fifteen more to go before I qualify for surgery. I’ve been working as a ghostwriter for an online advice column (solidarity, sister!) at a beauty website called Daisy Chain owned by a big conglomerate called Austen Media. The site’s run by Kitty, a gorgeous red-haired woman with terrifyingly taut biceps, who treats me like shit and has an inflated notion of her own brilliance. I like to write fiction on the side, but it’s not going anywhere, and I don’t date because guys never look at me because, as you probably gathered, I’m fat.

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