Dawson and Joey kiss.

The Great Dawson’s Creek Rewatch: Season 1, Episodes 7-9

We’re rewatching all of Dawson’s Creek in honor of its twentieth anniversary. Will require some mind-numbing. Drinking game rules can be found here.

Season One, Episode 7 “Detention”

By Nerdy Spice

In one of my favorite episodes, the gang-plus-Abby get stuck in an all-day Saturday detention, Breakfast Club-style. Joey, in true Early-Joey style, gets in trouble for beating up an obnoxious jock who suggests that he’s a shogun and she’s his concubine (yay feminism!); Dawson gets in trouble for attacking Pacey with a basketball because Pacey’s ability to talk to Jen with some level of charisma made him feel emasculated; Jen says the word “bitch” in class, and Abby and Pacey aren’t talkin’. (By the end of the episode it turns out they’re there for tardiness and semi-public masturbation, respectively.)

Continue reading →

The Great Dawson’s Creek Rewatch: Season 1, Episodes 4-6

We’re rewatching all of Dawson’s Creek in honor of its twentieth anniversary. Will require some mind-numbing. Drinking game rules can be found here.

Season 1, Episode 4 “Discovery”

By Janes

Screen Shot 2018-01-08 at 11.43.49 AM

We will say this many times over the course of this rewatch, but seriously–shut up, Dawson. First, he refuses to talk to Jen about anything serious until he fights with Joey, which was probably supposed to be a Dawson/Joey shipper thing, but really just makes it seem like Dawson is incapable of taking someone he’s sexually attracted to seriously. Then, when Jen reveals that she’s (gasp!) not-a-virgin, Dawson acts like a creep of the first order and becomes very obviously disgusted with her. Just one of the many times that Dawson represents the odious Nice Guy, the guy who thinks the universe owes him a perfect, virginal blonde girlfriend just for existing and not like–murdering people. Continue reading →

The Great Dawson’s Creek Rewatch: Season 1, Episodes 1-3

We’re rewatching all of Dawson’s Creek in honor of its twentieth anniversary. Will require some mind-numbing. Drinking game rules can be found here.

Season 1, Episode 1: “Pilot”

By Nerdy Spice

DC 101 walking

Here we are, you guys! Right here in Capeside, Massachusetts. The pilot opens in Dawson’s sexless bed watching the greatest sexless couple of all time watch ET for the bajillionth time. Also featured in this scene is Dawson’s big-haired cheatin’ momma on the evening news.

Anyway, this episode’s big theme is that People Evolve. Joey and Dawson, Soulmates Emeritus, have been having same-bed sleepovers every Friday night for years, but Joey suddenly develops qualms because, you know, puberty, and it’s weird. Can they maintain their creepy and codependent friendship even now that they’re growing up? Continue reading →

The Great Dawson’s Creek Rewatch: Kickoff

Almost exactly twenty years ago, in January 1998, a fifteen-year-old girl played by a nineteen-year-old woman climbed into the bed of a fifteen-year-old boy played by a twenty-three-year-old man, and history was made.

Dawson’s Creek became a cliché of itself almost immediately and set the standard for every teen drama that came after it: constant navel-gazing about sex and growing up; supposedly “precocious” kids who were constantly using five-dollar words… wrongly; meta-references to John Hughes and the other cornerstones of pop culture; and the love triangle to end all love triangles. (Side note: Recapping Dawson’s Creek was also the pastime that brought Mighty Big TV, which would become TWoP, into being; and the now-defunct TWoP’s snarky blow-by-blow recaps were a huge part of the inspiration for this blog.)

In honor of this milestone anniversary, we are going to be rewatching every single episode of Dawson’s Creek, rediscovering the magic and the madness of this era-defining show. The hairstyles! The J. Crew clothes! The well-chosen folk music! The network-appropriate sexual euphemisms! And of course, the time Dawson made this face and changed the future of internet culture:

DC crying

Naturally, such an exercise in nostalgia with such an easily mockable show calls for a (virtual, not-at-all-real) drinking game. Rules may be redefined as we get to later seasons, but so far, the rule card is as follows:

  • 1 shot every time Joey mentions growing up.
  • 5 shots every time Joey talks about things “changing” or “evolving.”
  • 1 shot every time Dawson or Joey calls their relationship “complicated.”
  • 1 shot every time Dawson or Joey uses the word “soulmates.”
  • 20 shots every time Dawson or Joey uses the phrase “inextricably intertwined.”
  • 1 shot every time Jack looks grossed out after kissing another dude.
  • 1 shot every time Pacey complains about being the black sheep of his family.
  • 1 shot for literary and movie references that are annoyingly on the nose, 5 for literary references that are clearly supposed to be on the nose and yet make NO DAMN SENSE AT ALL.
  • 1 shot for meta-movie references, 10 if that movie was made by Kevin Williamson.
  • 1 shot for every Freud reference, 2 if it’s completely incorrect.
  • 1 shot for every delusional discussion of the fact that Dawson is a nice guy.
  • 20 shots for every mention of the fact that Dawson has a heart or that it’s beating.
  • 1 shot every time Jen gets on her high horse about being an atheist.
  • 1 shot for every Jen Lindley pity party
  • 1 shot for anyone slut-shaming Jen when she hasn’t had sex for 5 or more episodes
  • 1 shot every time someone gratuitously brings up sex. 2 if they do it while claiming to hope that no one else will bring up sex.
  • 1 shot every time the writers come up with ridiculous words for sexual acts to get past the network censors.
  • 1 shot every time Dawson pulls out his camera at an extremely inappropriate moment.
  • 1 shot every time Joey plays the dead-mom card.
  • 2 shots for every time Joey expresses abject terror at the thought of having sex (been there, sister)
  • 1 shot every time Dawson’s hair is gag-worthy, even for the 90s.

We’ll be watching three episodes a week and posting every Monday. Join us if you too wish to re-live the nausea-inducing, multisyllabic, never-very-wacky hijinks of the Capeside Four: Joey, Dawson, Pacey, and poor neglected Jen. We will also be liberally referencing old fandom in-jokes, so be aware that some of our turns of phrase owe their existence to TWoP and the first generation of fans, as well. Happy 2018!

Rules updated for season 2: 

Dawson’s Creek Drinking Game Rules: An Update

Rules updated for season 3:

  • One shot every time Dawson gets called a “hero.”
  • One shot every time men blame women for their problems.
  • One shot every time Pacey refers to Joey as a woman or “Joay.”
  • One shot every time Pacey And Joey Ruined Everything.

Rules updated for season 4:

  • Joey or Pacey inappropriately mentions Dawson.
  • Completely inaccurate interpretations of “feminism” and “girl power” or completely unreasonable instances of women getting mad at men in some vaguely “men are dogs” way.
  • Every time they mention “last spring” in hushed, reverent tones.
  • Every time Jack stands up for the misogynistic straight guys who treat his female friends like crap.
  • Every time Jen tries to make out with someone extremely inappropriate.

Rules updated for season 5:

  • Every time Audrey is the MVP of a scene
  • Every time someone assumes that Audrey having sex means that she’s stupid
  • Every time Joey or Dawson says a Grand Goodbye to the other.
  • Every time Joey hates fun.
  • Every time people talk about Chad Michael Murray being hot.
  • Every time Chad Michael Murray pretends to be sensitive.
  • Every time Professor Creeper negs Joey.
  • Every time the characters blatantly rewrite history and/or forget that Pacey and Joey ever dated.

Rules updated for season 6:

  • Every time Professor Hedson negs Joey
  • Every time Eddie negs Joey
  • Every time Nerdy Spice melts down in Pacey-Joey shipper rage like she’s twelve years old.
  • Every mention of Pacey’s facial hair.
  • Every time Pacey suddenly becomes a misogynist.
  • Every time Dawson and Joey talk about how much they Hurt Each Other.

First installment here.

Links We Loved This Week — 12/15/17

Sometimes a story comes along that’s just as valuable for the reaction it engenders as it is for the words themselves. You should read the buzzy New Yorker story “Cat Person,” and you should definitely read the short-lived but hilarious Twitter account, “Men React to Cat Person.” They have thoughts.

Vulture published a list of 10 great holiday-adjacent movies that aren’t Die Hard. We humbly submit that While You Were Sleeping, which takes place almost entirely between Christmas Eve and New Year’s, is an obvious hole in this list, but at least they got You’ve Got Mail!

YAY! Colin Meloy and Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote a song!

The New Yorker published a thoughtful analysis of the controversial art created by Guantanamo detainees.

Links We Loved This Week — 12/1/17

Kinda looks like literature may be on the verge of its very own #Gamergate. Here’s hoping the sad young literary men are a little bit more woke than the sad young gaming men. In short, the acclaimed novelist Emma Cline is fighting accusations from an ex-boyfriend that she plagiarized her novel from his emails, because y’all know women don’t come up with stuff on their own: read about it in The Guardian.

The inspiring story of how a novice 30-year-old screenwriter writing on her kitchen table got her script for The Post made in under a year, via Vulture.

Louise Erdrich just wrote a book about dystopian enslavement of women based on their ability to produce healthy babies, so she was interviewed by the woman who wrote the book on fertility-based oppression: Margaret Atwood. Via Elle.

After a Never Let Me Go-style art exhibit by Guantanamo prisoners to demonstrate their humanity, the US government has declared that they own all of the art, and may start destroying it.

Nabokov’s dream diary, in which he details over 50 strange, violent, and erotic dreams, is about to be published for the first time. According to the editor, Gennady Barabtarlo, Nabokov completely failed to notice the similarity between his dreams and some of his writings.

The allegations against Mad Men showrunner Matt Weiner have gotten slightly lost in the ever-growing conga line of terrible men, but Buffy and UnREAL‘s Marti Noxon, who also wrote for Mad Men, believes them. She went so far as to call Weiner an “emotional terrorist.”

Amber Heard wans young actresses trying to find complex female parts not to play characters who are described as “enigmatic.” “The word ‘enigmatic’ means ‘Her backstory doesn’t matter.’ I fell for that so many times.” Via Women in the World.