Nashville Recap: 4×06 “Please Help Me, I’m Fallin’”

Do you see what they did with the title, though? Do you?

juliette walking 1

Previously on Nashville: Deacon and Scarlett were sorting through stuff in Nashville; Maddie told Cole she was ready; Rayna hated when Maddie sang with Juliette; Jeff wanted to be CEO of Luke Wheeler’s obnoxious lifestyle brand; Luke Wheeler’s obnoxious lifestyle brand consultant refused to sleep with Luke; Will didn’t want to just be a songwriter; Gunnar made out with some girl; Markus fired Avery because Markus is a brat; Avery wanted to divorce Juliette and gave her twenty-four hours.

Gunnar is in bed with his new ladyfriend, Erin. She tells him “That was… pretty great.” He looks proud of himself and then is shocked when she says she needs to leave. She refuses his offer of breakfast, and then his offer of a lift (“I’ll Uber”), and just as he seems to be getting wind of the fact that they might not get married, she kisses him and gets his poor little romantic heart all confused again. When she leaves, he says he doesn’t have her number, and she gives him a slightly pitying smile but says she knows where he lives.

Remembering this expression on Juliette's face, it's so sad that she agreed to all Avery's terms. She's beaten.

Remembering this expression on Juliette’s face, it’s so sad that she agreed to all Avery’s terms. She’s beaten.

Juliette’s sitting on the floor, her back against a hotel room bed, staring at Avery’s lawyer’s business card. Her face is swollen with tears. She crumples the card, looking completely desperate. At this point, I thought she was going to call the lawyer and go full Entitled Pop Star in his ear. But what she does is so much sadder, given this little snippet.

I have decided to look up Obnoxious Brand Consultant’s name, more for ease of typing than because she has become more than a one-note character. It’s Gabriella, for those who care. She’s on Luke’s couch in a Sexy But Business-Like dress, while Luke manspreads next to her and grips a cup of coffee, giving her smirky looks and cracking jokes about how his charm works on “almost everybody.” She gives him a schedule rundown, including a rooftop party tonight.

Colt passive-aggressively saunters by Luke and Gabriella while complaining into the phone that he hates being stuck out on the road without Maddie. Oh, teenagers! Luke is too high on his flirtation hormones to be particularly bothered by this. Maddie tells Colt how mad Rayna is. “She doesn’t know, does she?” Colt asks. Maddie parries, “That I love you? No, she doesn’t.” Colt loves Maddie, too. I enjoy how the teen characters on this, the soapiest of all adult soaps, somehow have much more mature and less dramatic relationships than teens on teen soaps. When was the last time a pair of teenagers exchanged “I love you”s without getting an entire A-plot about it on the CW, for example?

Rayna comes in to take Maddie’s phone privileges away. Maddie doesn’t know why she’s making a big deal, and Rayna tells her, “When you get up on stage like that, it makes an impression! What you wear, the song that you choose, all of that. Leaves a mark about who you are as an artist and as a person.” Ahhh, I see! She’s slut-shaming Maddie for that great, but admittedly rather old for her age, dress! Maddie tries to text Colt before the phone leaves, but Rayna snatches it away.

Get a load of that sternum! If Maddie hadn't happened to be wearing this dress, I think Rayna would have been less unsettled by the whole thing.

Get a load of that sternum! If Maddie hadn’t happened to be wearing this dress, I think Rayna would have been less unsettled by the whole thing.

In Bro Kitchen, Avery is wrangling the little baby holder while on the phone with his lawyer. From the one side of the conversation we get, it seems Juliette accepted all the terms. He hangs up, looking stricken, and tells Will, “I’m getting a divorce.”

Scarlett and Deacon are in a diner, and Scarlett is agonizing over the idea of going on tour with Deacon in a week. How can she get on with her life without her mom? “I get that. It doesn’t seem right, just goin’ on like nothing even happened. Like she wasn’t even here,” Deacon says pensively. Scarlett gets the check after she and Deacon have an adorable little scuffle over who gets to pay. Aww, I’m glad they made up. The cashier recognizes Scarlett and says she’s sorry for their loss: she was an old friend of Bev’s, and it’s a shame they’re leaving, because the Landslide is having a get-together for Bev. Scarlett tells Deacon it’s the lounge her mom used to sing in for the last four years. The Angst Wheels start turning in Deacon’s head.

Markus has stopped by Rayna’s place. “Hey, nice pad,” he says, helping himself to an apple from her table, more for juggling purposes than for nutritional ones. “Thanks… help yourself,” she says and makes a hilarious raised-eyebrows face as he goes into the fridge. She tries to manage him re: the Avery fiasco, asking what he likes and doesn’t like about working with producers. Markus asks Rayna to produce instead, since he doesn’t want to be lectured on what country music is. So, basically since he thinks he can boss her around? Although he then spins it as “You’re the one who saw something special in me,” so, equally narcissistic but a little less of a glaring red flag to Rayna. She tells him she’ll give it a shot, and he says he wants her to hear his new song. She suggests first thing tomorrow; he barrels over it and says to meet him at sound check.

Layla arrives at Jeff’s hotel with a squeal of, “Babe!” He squeezes her, looking genuinely happy to see her, while Gabriella stares at him with frosty eyes. Layla, oblivious, exchanges sweet nothings with Jeff.

The crazy eyes.

The crazy eyes.

Juliette comes out of the elevator in a hoodie and sunglasses. Jeff bumps into her, notices the waves of freak-out emanating off of her, and she says, “Avery’s divorcin’ me” with a stuffy-nose voice. We hear the voices around her as she walks in slow-motion: “It’s Juliette,” and other whispers and rumors, that I’m not even sure are real because she’s in such a bad place at that moment. Then a fan comes up to her and asks to take a selfie, and Juliette fucking loses it, tackling her to the ground and having to be dragged away literally kicking and screaming by Jeff as onlookers gleefully take cell-phone videos.

Will is sitting outside Kevin’s house when Kevin comes home, ready to make up. “I just wanted to say there’s nothing wrong with being a songwriter,” he says as soon as Kevin arrives, “but my dream was always to perform.” He doesn’t want to give up his dream. Kevin looks skeptical, and says he’s confused: if performing is what he loves, what is he doing? He suggests he help get Will into a showcase his friend’s hosting tonight.

Luke lectures Juliette wildly while she sits on her couch looking skeptical and Gabriella stands there looking important and useless. “What is it, booze, drugs?” She tells him it’s none of his business. I think it’s kind of touching, in terms of the relationship between Juliette and Jeff, that she was able to tell Jeff what’s going on so easily, since there’s basically no way he could judge her, but with Luke, who she might actually respect, she’s getting all defensive. She tells him to leave her alone, grabs a bottle of vodka and goes into the bathroom to cry and chug a whole shitload of it straight from the neck.

Jeff tells Luke the fan won’t be pressing charges. Gabriella kills the buzz by implying the “wholesome brands” they’ve gone into business with might not exactly like Luke’s being associated with Juliette. “What, you’re saying it could jeopardize everything?” Luke says, just in case some of the viewers have a lot of trouble putting two and two together. Jeff suggests that they control the story in the press, and Luke says to do what they can. “Do you really think you can pull this off in the next few hours?” Gabriella says. Shouldn’t Gabriella be telling him how to spin things? What exactly is her job? Anyway, Jeff says if he does this, she has to make him CEO. Oh Jeff. Dream bigger. “That’s a bold ask,” says Gabriella. He threatens to do nothing if she doesn’t.

Not feeling it.

Not feeling it.

Markus is singing at sound check, so already doing quite a bit more work in proportion to time spent than he did with Avery. Rayna shows up with daughters in tow, and Maddie looks excited despite her desire to look displeased about everything Rayna does, says, or supports. Markus comes over to hug Rayna and meet her daughters. Maddie loved what he was singing: it sounded like Boulevard! He compliments her turn onstage in Atlanta, so Rayna sends Maddie off to sit on the couch. She reminds Markus that he wanted to break away from the Boulevard sound, and that they should play around with it. “Yeah,” Markus says, looking very ready to pitch a fit if Rayna continues to have any opinions whatsoever other than “You rock, Markus.”

Will tells Avery and Gunnar that he’s going to perform tonight! Everyone is excited for him. Gunnar, on the other hand, holds up an earring gleefully. No one is excited for him. He takes this chance to explain condescendingly to his married roommate and to his gay roommate who managed to charm the pants off of more women during a year or two of closeted semi-stardom than Gunnar will ever see on his own floor, how women work: they don’t do straightforward things like give you their number if they want to see you again. They leave romantic signs that they want you to stalk them by dropping earrings on the floor! Well, this should turn out well.

Avery tries to gently impart some much-needed common sense to Gunnar about how not leaving a number means someone doesn’t want to hear from him him, but they all get distracted by a news story about Juliette attacking the fan. Will freeze-frames it on a truly scary shot of Juliette giving her fan the crazy eyes, mouth wide open in a scream. “There’s something really wrong,” Avery says, but Will talks him out of calling; he’ll just get sucked back in. “He’s right, man,” says Gunnar. “Juliette is officially no longer your problem.” Avery starts to get the Red-Rimmed Eyes of Love Thwarted that he’s so damn good at.

Jeff is trying to stuff a drunk, crying Juliette into her room and make her stay there. She pulls at his arms and says, “You know that you would drop her in a second if I gave you another shot at me,” she slurs. He calls her a “one-time bang in a broom closet.” She grabs him and kisses him. It’s tragic because she’s such a teary, snotty, drunken mess that it’s easy to see why even the old Jeff would have fought her off. “You know you want me, everybody wants me-hee-hee,” she wails, trailing off into a sob. “I couldn’t want anyone less,” he says. “No wonder Avery left you. What a waste.” Ouch, Jeff. Juliette looks devastated, but I almost wonder if his meanness is better than the kind, paternal response that, say, Glenn would have had to the same incident (you just know she might have tried to seduce even Glenn in the state she’s in). At least Jeff’s response gives her a clue that she’s divorced from reality.

"You know you want me, everybody wants me."

“You know you want me, everybody wants me.”

Scarlett and Deacon are finishing packing up Bev’s kitchen. They only have an hour of work left, but instead of hitting the road, but Deacon wants to go to the gathering at the Landslide. “It’s just a sad lounge, where none of Mama’s dreams came true,” Scarlett says sadly. She tells him to go ahead, but she’s staying here. He goes off, looking disappointed. I think what’s going on here is that Deacon wants to think Beverly’s life wasn’t completely empty so he feels less sad about her death (or less guilty). Whereas Scarlett is convinced that that life was empty and doesn’t want to think about it because she feels that her leaving somehow made that happen. Later they reinterpret it as Scarlett thinking her mother resented her success, but I think that’s only part of the change that happens here.

Rayna is chatting to Markus’ band while he stands to the side, and tells him to give her new idea a shot. Peeved, he agrees, and the band starts playing very slow, twangy music that even I can hear is different from before. He stops them after two bars saying he’s not feeling it. She starts suggesting they at least try it, but he says, “I don’t really see what the point is when I know I don’t like it.” When she suggests he’s afraid because it’s different, he gets offended, and points out that she’s dictating changes without consulting him. “I thought you got me, Rayna. You don’t. You know what, maybe this whole thing was a mistake.” He storms off. Rayna is starting to see what she’s gotten herself into.

Layla greets Jeff in her room. He hugs her affectionately, but says he can’t stay: he has to take care of the Juliette situation. Layla sees the scratches on him and starts pitching a fit, squealing that he’s sleeping with Juliette again. Jeff takes this pretty calmly, and then does the romantic thing where he says passionately, “You think I give a damn about her?!” Then, in an episode of supposedly shocking twists, this was probably the most actually shocking one: Jeff volunteers the truth, a move wildly out of character for him. He tells her he has a shot at being CEO of Luke Wheeler’s company. Layla doesn’t exactly think this is as exciting as Jeff does until he tells her that they’ll never have to deal with Juliette and that not being Layla’s manager will make things easier… when they move in together. Layla, who doesn’t see the obviously self-serving nature of this invitation, is thrilled and kisses him. Kinda reminds me of when she forgot to be mad at Will because he proposed. But by the end of the episode I think we are supposed to think that this is not a play on Jeff’s part. Layla sends him off to help Juliette.

Gunnar calls Erin. She asks how he got her number, and he says, “It’s kind of a funny story,” and then tells her how he stalked her by calling their only mutual contact and lying that he wanted a sound tech. Erin asks skeptically what he wants, and he announces proudly that she probably wants her earring back. “I wasn’t wearing earrings last night,” she says. A loooooong pause follows. Hee. But when Gunnar asks her to Will’s performance, she agrees to go.

Erin looks skeptical... but not skeptical enough, I guess.

Erin looks skeptical… but not skeptical enough!

Dear Erin, didn’t your parents ever tell you about not going out with stalkers? I feel like the safe sex talk for young people should include this and almost never does. “If a person violates more than five social norms while pursuing contact with you, do not meet that person at a bar later that night.”  If nothing else, even if the person is as harmless as Gunnar, you’re reinforcing some very bad behavior.

Deacon shows up at the Landslide and orders a club soda. He sees a homemade-looking poster announcing Beverly at the Landslide every week, and stares intensely at it.

Rayna finds Markus playing pinball and asks to have a conversation. She tells him she hears a storyteller in him and wants to connect his voice to the country audience. “You and I both know you brought me to Nashville ‘cause you need me,” he says, because her label was failing. She admits to this, but says he needed her too: “The word is out on you, I mean come on, difficult, arrogant, abrasive, all of it kind of proving to be true right now.” He suggests they cut ties now, but she says she wants to do something special. He actually looks a little teary as he says, “I’m not hearin’ what you’re hearin’.” She has an idea.

Maddie is, amusingly if slightly unrealistically, filling a notebook with love doodles about Colt (don’t they have apps for that now?) when Rayna comes out and suggests that she and Daphne sing a Boulevard song for Markus like they did at the talent show. She wants Markus to hear what she heard. “Oh, so now you want me to sing,” Maddie snots. But Daphne’s the one who says she doesn’t want to. She runs away, and Rayna goes after her. Markus, already making great strides in maturity after a few minutes with Rayna, doesn’t take the occasion to pitch a fit.

Scarlett finds some papers in a drawer: a demo tape whose cover is the same sepia-washed headshot of Beverly that Deacon saw on the poster at the Landslide, and about five hundred type-written rejection letters. She cries. If she thought Beverly was just hanging out at the Landslide dreaming instead of actually working for those dreams, this is proof that secretly, Beverly was persevering against a mountain of rejection and discouragement. That is pretty sad to think of—a woman who was so narcissistic and needy that all the rest of her dirty laundry constantly got aired in public, managing to keep this one painful secret to herself.

Look at that adorable face. Give Daphne more storylines!

Look at that adorable face. Give Daphne more storylines!

Rayna finds Daphne and asks her if she’s all right. Daphne starts to look like she’s about to cry and finally reveals what happened to her in the bathroom after the talent show. “Stuff about Dad… and how we should be embarrassed to be on stage?” she says, bursting into tears. Aww, this kid is such a good actress. Rayna tells her to have “nothing but pride in the gift that you have.” Daphne is still upset, and Rayna gives her a little life lesson about how negativity shouldn’t get in the way of her pride in what she does. For some reason I thought this would translate into her having a big old realization that she’s being too controlling with Maddie, since her whole rationale there was that people would judge her for getting up on stage with Juliette. But it doesn’t. Have pride in your talent even if people gossip about you, but if, heaven forfend, you wear a low-cut dress, you need to learn a lesson about making the right choices about your image, right Rayna?

Will is singing to a screaming, happy crowd in his trademark cowboy hat. He does a great job and everyone looks thrilled, mostly girls. He’s getting a kick out of the screaming girls, but when they laughingly push an adorably dweeby guy to the front, Will literally turns his back on the crowd, looking upset. Um… is that allowed?

Avery’s washing dishes when he hears a TV story about the fan, claiming that she’s been stalking Juliette and that was why Juliette attacked her. “Juliette Barnes is a role model for women everywhere,” she says. Jeff is in the background, looking evil.

Jeff is buttoning up a crisp button-down when he gets a phone call from Avery. “What’s wrong with Juliette?” “Nothing, why,” Jeff says innocently, maintaining the fiction that the fan provoked her. He asks Avery why he cares. “She’s the mother of my child, and she’s sick,” Avery rants, “she needs more than a manager paying people off, she needs help!” Jeff says she’s in her room and she’s fine.

Nope. Nope, she’s not. At this very moment Juliette is busy dumping out a pharmacopia on her glass table, and drinking wildly from a bottle in between doing lines of crushed pills, Carrie-Mathison-style, while the Thumping Music of a Breakdown in Progress plays loudly in the background. Well, that escalated quickly.

Scarlett arrives at the Landslide to see Deacon chatting and laughing with people about Bev. “Packed, ready to go,” she says sturdily. When he says he wants to stay with Bev’s friends, she says “Hooatheall,” which I think is supposed to mean, “Who are they all?” They’re Bev’s friends, Deacon says. Scarlett agrees to be introduced around, looking a little more optimistic.

At the showcase, Gunnar is wildly looking for Erin. Once he reminds Kevin of who that actually is, Kevin’s like, umm, why would she be here? Gunnar does find her eventually, but she says she wanted to say bye before heading out to a ladies’ night with her friends. She kisses him good-bye. I’m starting to be as confused as Gunnar. Her friends moved the location of their ladies’ night pub crawl so she could meet him? That’s actually kind of a lot of commitment. And then she didn’t even say hello. And then she kissed him. Weird.

Markus is back on stage when Rayna and Daphne return. He says he thinks he gets it now. Maddie sang without Daphne since Daphne didn’t want to. Daphne looks less than pleased. But now Markus is singing a country-fied version of the song and it sounds pretty great. He’s still dressed like a rocker, all black torn clothes and giant pointy rings, and I’m really looking forward to the Markus country makeover montage where he gets outfitted with cowboy boots and a ten-gallon hat.

Gabriella stops by Luke’s room. He’s not too busy worrying about Juliette derailing his life to drop a little light flirtation: “Where I come from, the guy picks up the girl on the way to the dance.” But Gabriella is happy: she got commitments from all the investors. They’re fully funded! They hug, and she explains that Jeff solved the Juliette problem, and that he should be CEO. Luke should reconsider. Luke looks skeptical.

I never get tired of wanting to cry as I watch Avery make this face.

I never get tired of wanting to cry as I watch Avery make this face.

Avery bursts into Glenn’s house. “There’s something really wrong with her, I can tell,” he says, literally out of breath. I think he ran there. Cadence isn’t with him, so poor Emily is probably watching her offscreen somewhere. “Yeah, me too,” Glenn starts to say, and Avery barrels over him, demanding what he’s doing about it. “You’re practically her father, you’re acting like you don’t even care!” Glenn says of course he cares and it’s breaking his heart. “And I know it’s breaking yours too. I know you’re still in love with Juliette. But it doesn’t matter how much you care about her if she doesn’t care about herself.” He tells Avery to cut off his emotions. Tears fill Avery’s eyes. Oh, poor Avery.

Markus finishes singing, and Rayna tells him he was amazing. “Girl, you unlocked it,” he says to Maddie. But Daphne interrupts, with a hilarious fuck this noise face, “Can we go home now?” 

At the Landslide, Deacon is drinking up more Bev stories, and Scarlett is hearing about all her mom’s bragging about her. One of Bev’s friends, a kindly, matronly blonde lady, suggests that Scarlett sing tonight. Scarlett asks if that would be appropriate. “Dear, I think that would be perfect,” the lady says kindly.

Dear, I think it would be perfect.

Dear, I think that would be perfect.

Colt is at the rooftop party complaining to his dad about hanging out with “a bunch of stuffy old people” instead of Maddie. Luke, high on his success, tells Colt to try to enjoy himself a bit. Predictably, Colt decides to snatch a bottle of liquor from the bar and run away, stuffing it under his vest. “I’ll enjoy this,” he says out loud.

Luke greets an arriving Layla and Jeff on the rooftop. He’s giving Jeff the CEO position, even though he hasn’t always trusted him, because he’s proved his commitment. Layla gives a big, supportive-wife smile. Oh, Layla. They hug. She says she’s proud of him. “You better call the movers.” “Already did,” he answers. That’s kinda cute, and again, more surprising than anything that happens later.

Will wallows. Again.

Will wallows. Again.

Kevin finds Will sitting out in an alley behind the bar, angsting away. He complains bitterly about the one guy who was shoved to the front of the crowd, “like he’s the only one I could sing to.” Kevin says it was just a joke. Will thinks he’s facing a lifetime of playing gay pride parades. “My dream is dead,” he says, and then he says he shouldn’t have “opened my damn mouth” and come out at that press conference. Kevin finally decides he can’t take this anymore—whether it’s the very real hurt he probably feels when Will acts like he regrets ever owning up to the relationship he has with Kevin, or just the fact that Will’s self-pity is getting kind of, uh, old, I don’t know—and breaks up with him.

Scarlett gets up onstage at the gathering and introduces herself as Beverly’s daughter, to loud applause. “I’d really like to sing one of my mama’s songs to you, if that would be all right,” she says. It’s the song Beverly closed all her shows with: a slow little ditty about the curtains closing after a show. Deacon sits alone at a table, looking teary, and imagining a diffuse-glow-washed Bev in place of Scarlett. That’s a nice touch, especially, as a good-bye for the actress, who didn’t get to show off her singing voice this season. Also, and I mean no disrespect to the actress, I really hope it’s a nice good-bye for Beverly because I am BORED by this storyline by now.

Curtain call for Bev.

Curtain call for Bev.

Erin shows up at Gunnar’s door. He says he’s confused and outlines the various mixed messages he’s gotten. “Sounds like you have a pretty good handle on it,” she says. Heh. Then she says she’s here for fun. Gunnar seems convinced by this, since she proceeds to go into his room to get naked.

Rayna and Maddie enter the darkened kitchen of their house. Rayna wants her to see the difference between her performance with Juliette, which was apparently just last night, and with Markus today. Apparently the difference was that today was her interpretation of music, and last night was “something else.” Uh, I still think the low-cut dress had something to do with it. Maddie, equally unconvinced, is about to saunter away when Rayna says in a hushed voice that Daphne’s having a tough time. Maddie goes into defensive teenager mode, asking how she was supposed to know. Rayna says, “You weren’t, I just wanted you to be aware so you could try to be more considerate of her feelings, that’s all.” But because it’s Rayna asking, Maddie has no interest. Boo. I want Maddie to grow out of this phase and Daphne to grow into it. I think Daphne could put some great new twists on all these bratty standbys, based on how snotty she was to Maddie a few minutes ago.

Scarlett and Deacon are back on the road. Scarlett says, “All these years I thought Mama resented me for my career, because I had something she wanted so bad and never got. But it turns out she was proud of me.” Deacon says she still is. That’s really sweet. Scarlett’s going to go on tour, since her mother would have wanted that. Does this mean the end of Caleb? Please, please let it be the end of Caleb. Deacon is happy, too, because he knows how much she meant to that place.

Colt is staggering around the party. Luke greets him, and he says he’s tired and going to bed. Luke manages not to notice that his kid is literally falling down drunk, which I would find unrealistic if I didn’t remember how many times my sister managed to stagger home drunk as a teenager without getting busted by my otherwise very attentive parents.

Layla wants to go celebrate alone with Jeff, but he wants to stay around to schmooze, so she goes to bed.

Juliette is rocking back and forth on the couch, crying. It’s a rough scene. She finds her phone on the floor and manages to text a properly spelled “I’m sorry” to Avery, who receives it as he’s tucking Cadence into the crib. Ominous minor-chord twangs play as he remembers Glenn’s advice and deletes Juliette from his phone. Meanwhile, Cadence sleeps on her tummy with her adorable head turned to one side. I guess I see how “I’m sorry” could come across as just another attempt to reconcile, i.e. I’m sorry for running off and leaving you to raise our child alone. But I also feel like an unexplained text that says only “I’m sorry” from someone obviously already having a public breakdown, is a pretty giant red flag. Couldn’t he call the police and then delete Juliette from his phone? Not that that would have saved A Certain Person, but whatever. Think of how Avery would’ve felt if Juliette had actually killed herself. That forehead vein would probably have burst.

Juliette wanders out of her room, barely able to make her legs work, but with an almost full, extremely large bottle of vodka dangling from one hand just in case the staggering amount of substances she’s already consumed somehow wear off on her trip to the roof.

Deacon calls his sponsor. “I’ve been thinking of that bar of yours,” he says, which is in financial trouble, and says he wants to buy in. He’s grinning like this is a huge breakthrough. And he wants to name the damn bar “Beverly.” I feel like it would be a better idea on so many levels to buy, I don’t know, a recording studio and name it after Beverly. On the “maybe she wants to be remembered for her music and not how she haunted bars and lounges” level. On the “would anyone actually want to drink at a bar named ‘The Beverly’” level. And especially on the “maybe alcoholics only three years out from their most recent relapse shouldn’t buy bars level.”

She's not going to make this face again for a looooong time.

She’s not going to make this face again for a looooong time.

Jeff, Luke and Gabriella are shutting down the party. Jeff sees Juliette staggering around at the far end of the rooftop and tells Luke and Gabriella to go ahead without him. Maybe he also doesn’t want to be the third wheel around all that lukewarm chemistry. (I didn’t even mean “lukewarm” as a pun, but now I’m really proud of what I did there. Applause, please.)

Gabriella coyly pauses at her door. Luke is surprised she won’t invite him in. She even more coyly repeats her rule about not sleeping with clients, but spares my eardrums by not using the word “pleasure” again. Luke fires her. They laugh. He’s going to hire her back first thing in the morning. Like while he’s still lying naked in her bed, I think is the implication there.

Yeah. This is the body language of someone who doesn't mix business and pleasure.

Yeah. This is the body language of someone who doesn’t mix business and pleasure.

Colt picks up a call from Maddie, which at first seemed to be totally ruining the tension. “Are you OK?” she asks, “you sound weird.” Yes, because he’s wasted out of his mind. He asks to call her back and staggers out to his balcony, which I guess is even higher than the balcony where the rooftop party was (yeah, I don’t know), because while he looks down trying to sober up, he sees Juliette staggering onto the edge of the roof. This hotel is a lawyer’s fantasy; the barrier is barely up to Juliette’s knees, and Juliette is a miniature human to start with.

Anyway, so Juliette is standing on the roof, staring at a giant billboard of herself across the street and barely recognizable after 24 hours of crying. She pours some vodka off the roof, and hears accusing male voices in her head, which are suddenly interrupted by Jeff calling, “Juliette!” He begs her, “Don’t do this. Please.” She drops the vodka bottle and then starts to drop, but he comes over to tug her back—only for the angular momentum to swing him off-balance and right off the roof. See? This hotel was just asking for a lawsuit.

So, that happened! I don’t know, I think I’ll kind of miss Jeff and his peculiar, dubious transition from gross and abusive to gross and kind-of-OK. But I am curious to see if Gabriella can pull off a convincing facsimile of human emotion at his funeral (or refrain from mentioning the word “brand” until a decent interval has passed). I’m not optimistic—and on a more serious note, watching Juliette deal with this, if she even remembers it, will be very painful—but I guess we’ll find out next episode!

On the edge.



  1. […] the same Gabriella and Luke Wheeler?! I find it FASCINATING that someone was invested enough in the stupidest (and fairly short-lived) romantic storyline on a show full of dumb romantic storylines, to go looking for clips of their scenes. If we used the word “hot” in our posts in proximity […]



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